what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
