I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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