It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize