Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
