ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
