Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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