Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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