did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he high fived his dick after we had sex
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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