The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
sarcasm needs its own font
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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