Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
