I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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