Nicole vs. Life
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
