I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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