just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My ass is underappreciated
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
