Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
