apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Come on in and take your pants off
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