is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
