The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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