The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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