We're facebook friends in real life
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
