my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
