You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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