U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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