At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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