New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
