Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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