Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
As shirtless as possible
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
