It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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