So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
