Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
