Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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