Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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