Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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