worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Are we still banned from the library?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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