Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
