I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I seem to have left my pride at pride
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
