Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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