Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
accomplished twins. life is a go
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Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
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One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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