Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
