omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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