My first STD was from a foam party
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
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and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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