we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
