Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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