I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
