its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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