I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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