Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
