you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
