evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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