Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
