their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
