dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
