Jerry, you need to find god
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Sober January is a disaster.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
