I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
