Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
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We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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