A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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