i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize