this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
