Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
