oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize