Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I supernannyed him into submission
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
