I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize