oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
