So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
