She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
