I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
